Yeah…weird. I know.
And not in like a, Wow! I can’t believe we’re driving to kindergarten. She’s five! She’s so big. Because she is, truly, still so little.
As we were driving, just she and I, to the very special, very first, half-day of school where parents stay with the kids (which I suspect is more for the grownups than the kiddos), Mo and I were playing eye-spy. She suddenly got a goofy look on her face.
“What’s up Mo?” I asked in the rearview mirror.
“Sometimes it’s so weird to think. I mean, sometimes I think about thinking! Also, it’s so weird that I am alive and I am a person. I mean, I see other people, but I am also a person! That makes my brain feel funny…”
Whoa… Daughter, that is deep. That’s like Philosophy 101 type stuff. How can my baby girl be thinking about thinking?
Because she’s not a baby any more.
Then, as we left school today, I said, “Love, let’s go take a picture in front of Mary’s grotto. Maybe we can bring flowers tomorrow for your first day at school alone.”
“Smile with Mama Mary, my Love. Let’s get a picture of the two of you, because she is going to Love you and Take Care of you while you’re at school. When I can’t be there.”
I choked up a bit. Trying to put on a brave face.
“You too Mama! You take a picture too, because she is going to take care of you when I’m gone too!”
Because I knew. I knew it was True, and that Truth was spoken from the mouth of my Baby.
No, my Big Girl.
And she will take care of my heart, guarding the big part here in my chest, and the little part, marching confidently through that classroom door.