T.O.T.E.

That’s what everyone says, right?

Remember this moment, because they grow up so fast.

I have a habit of rolling my eyes. Sure sure. I know. They’re growing. How come everyone can see it but me? Day to day, both the girls seem pretty much the same.

See, I’m too close. All those changes that seem monumental to friends and family are incremental to me. Glacial even (will teething EVER END?!).

And then I left for 10 days, and the girls did really and truly change while I was gone. What?!

It’s still shock-y to me. I’ve been back for a couple days, and the girls are still telling me new stories or showing me new skills.

Let me elaborate:

Mo can suddenly draw a body in its entirety. All the pieces of the face are there: ears, eyes, mouth, arms, legs…I don’t even have to interpret the pictures. They’re straight up people!

She’s extrapolated and now draws families of rocks (sorry, “stones” she says) and trees and anything else.

Lu changed the most, hands down. Physically, she even got a new tooth! How is that possible? (Well, with a lot of night-time crying, tylenol and soothing on Andy’s part. Thanks my Love!)

Suddenly, when she holds my finger to walk, she’s leading me places, instead of using it as a support. That’s a direct change of intention.

She also says “Yes” and “No” with the proper shake or nod firmly attached.

Now, maybe all those things seem simple. And they are. But they’re also substantial. Each and every milestone is of worth to me. I’m not sure I would have seen them had I not left.

While I appreciate the new perspective, I certainly do not plan to make leaving for extended periods of time a regular occurrence. Considering teething never, ever ends, I’m pretty sure Andy would like it if I could be home every once in a while.

I’ll leave you with this fantastic video of Lu’s new dance skills. Andy uploaded it while I was gone, and it made all my classmates cry with laughter. She’s just that good (and we were also that sleep deprived).

(photo credit to Andy and his amazing family who came to help out!)

And…it’s over.

I’m on my way home, taking a minute to appreciate the slow airport wifi after more than a week of dial-up-esque connections at the retreat center.

After 10 long days of learning, many late nights studying, a midterm and final (which I passed woohoo!) I am officially a Creighton Model Fertility Care Intern. I can practice the art of monitoring women’s health through Creighton Model charting in a very profound way.

I’m feeling both excited and nervous. There are presentations to memorize, forms to fill out, paperwork to familiarize myself with. And somehow, I know it’s going to be awesome.

I’ve been so protected and loved and nurtured in this environment. Mass every day. Three hearty meals a day. Prayers before tests, before meals, before everything… This Holy ground exudes peace and calm. I’m about to re-enter the real world and I’ve got to be ready.

Ready to be different and counter cultural. To be an advocate for the way God made every female body. But mostly, to be compassionate. To love each client. To meet each couple where they’re at. To persevere. And to pray. Lots and lots of prayer.

I bonded in a profound and sacred way with the other five students in the class, and I go forth, ready to be “a little bit rebel” knowing that their prayers and love go with me.

(Sorry about the phone photos…I’ll take better pictures next time. Promise.)

So, what am I doing in Fresno?

That’s a good question.

Currently I’m furiously studying for a midterm.

Midterm? asks my Brain. As in a test? A real test?

I know, I know. It’s been a while, Brain. Like 7 years. But don’t worry. I think you’re working well enough to take a test….

Maybe.

I’ve been sweeping the cobwebs off my neurons, desperately hoping that neural tissue somehow has muscle memory. Come on Brain. We used to do this all time. You know, think hard. Memorize stuff. Regurgitate necessary factoids.

I’m in the middle of studying to be a Creighton Model FertilityCare Practitioner. A very long title to say, I’m taking an amazing class to get certified to teach a fantastic method of natural family planning (more on the actual method later). It’s a 13 month accreditation program involving this 8 day super-intense class (we’re talking 9-5 class, every single day), 6 months of supervised internship, another 6 day super-intense class,  site visit from our instructor and (finally) a final exam. Whew!

It helps that this retreat center is settled in the peaceful, close-to-nature CA mountains outside of Fresno. (I saw a bobcat while hiking this morning!) And we get three solid, warm meals a day. I talking french toast for breakfast, tacos for lunch, orange chicken with rice for supper, and all the cookies I can eat. Any time of day. Pregnant woman’s dream come true!

I told the cook I was sure to go home fat and happy. She smiled and said, “Well then. My job is done!”

Pretty much I’m spoiled.

I do miss my girls. Something fierce (Andy too, of course!). I’m in tears at least once a day (usually when I chat with them). But I know they’re in fantastic hands: those of Andy and our amazing church community. There are several awesome women every day this week who are taking turns watching Mo and Lu. Not to mention those who are dropping meals off to Andy, helping him at church, and checking in on him.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Seriously.

Thank you.

I’m making great friends. Studying reproductive organs like crazy, and learning a ridiculous amount of amazing, empowering information.

But please, do pray for me tomorrow.

It’s been a while since I took a midterm.

Fresno, CA actually.

For 10 whole days. What?

I know. I’m still a little bit in shock myself, and I’m sure I look it too. Sitting alone in the airport, eyes all puffy and red from crying.

Seriously, is there something worse than leaving your babies? (I know there is, but I don’t even want to think about it…).

Mo insisted on walking into the airport to drop me off. None of this curbside nonsense.

“I’ll drop you off Mama. I’ll hold your hand!”

She thought it was similar to preschool drop off…

*gulp

*tears running down my face

So, instead of dwelling on being so far away, here are photos I took a couple weeks ago in Mo’s class. Her fantastic teacher, Ms Kara, allows parents to observe her class, if they would like.

And I did like it. A lot. Mo is in excellent hands.

I took many, many photos, but to maintain the privacy of the other kiddos, I’m only including the ones that are of my own daughter.

Except for the first one, which is Ms Kara holding another student’s hand during recess. Just because she cares. Because she loves.

I’ll hold your hand Mama…

Time to go blow my nose before I get picked up. More on what exactly I’m doing here later.

This man, who works hard every single day, is computing like a crazy man right now.

He’s taking the Professional Engineering exam, and it is a doozy! 8 hours of non-stop, comprehensive engineering questions. It factors out to around 6 minutes per problem, all day long. And, as if his brain weren’t fried enough, the tougher part of the exam is the second half of the day. Blech.

Here’s the thing about us: at this point in our family life, I don’t work… well, a job that pays. He is our bread winner. That is no small feat for a growing family of four. Over the last several months, on top of all the work he already does, he’s also studied for this exam. Another ball added to his amazing juggling act (and, much to the amusement of our daughters, he can actually juggle). Hours and hours spent in preparation, and did he sacrifice kid time? Wife time? Family time? Not really. Mostly sleep. Because he’s awesome like that. Because, he loves us like that.

If you’ve got an extra minute or six today, would you please send him a prayer? Offer up a small sacrifice? Send him some good vibes? Every little bit of grace and love and positive energy is going to make him that much more awesome.

Cause I know he’s going to rock this test. This endurance event.

Six minutes at a time.

UPDATE: Breakfast has been reinstated for this unit! Yay! However, care packages are always appreciated. So, if you still feel like sending a box, I’m still happy to pass on the APO mailing address!

…

Recently while visiting my parents, my mom presented me with a little service opportunity, and asked if I could bring it to my community (which of course, includes you).

A fellow teacher at my mom’s school (Julie) has a daughter and son-in-law stationed in an advanced outpost in Afghanistan. She hears over and over people say, “Wow, thank them for their service” but it always rings a little hollow. There is never the follow up question What can I do? or What can I send? How can I help this suck less for you and for them?.

Julie had initially asked my mom to adopt a couple soldiers and send them care packages, especially the soldiers who rarely if ever receive something. However, a newer and pressing need has developed. Due to budget cuts back here at home, the government has suspended breakfast indefinitely for her daughter’s entire unit.

**Side note, this has nothing to do with the current government shutdown and everything to do with the (seemingly forgotten) sequester-fester.**

Julie’s request now is for people to create care packages filled with breakfast items that will travel well (pop tarts, trail mix or granola bars for example) and mail them to her daughter. Her daughter will then distribute the items to her fellow soldiers.

I have the APO address, and if you use the largest pre-paid box at the post office, it costs somewhere around $14 to mail a box all the way to Afghanistan.

If you are interested, leave a comment with your email address (or send me an email caitlinelder25(at)gmail(dot)com), and I’m happy to send you the APO address. You will need to fill out a customs form, but (thanks to the amazing internet) I’ve found a website that shows you how to do it quite simply.

Please share with anyone you think would be interested.

All political affiliations aside, I think everyone needs to start the day with breakfast. Don’t you?

…

Here’s a pic of some of our Ladies group from church filling up boxes and sending them out. You ladies amaze and inspire me every day. Thank you for your willingness to help those in need, even from thousands of miles away!

All good experiments are done in triplicate! Our tertiary Elder results will arrive early April 2014!

We appreciate all the love and prayers headed our way. We are so blessed!

…

Yes, I know. This may be one of the nerdiest pregnancy announcements ever. And though neither Andy nor I work in the world of research any more, it (obviously) made a lasting impression…